margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize