dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
