Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
