? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
