Me too!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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