To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
