I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
