I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
