You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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