This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
