Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
