I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize