Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
