what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
