They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
