If i come over, it means nothing
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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