The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
