So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
birth control should be required to get into college
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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