Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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