i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
