u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
