Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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