Joe is yelling at the trees again.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
