I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
