38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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