I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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