Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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