We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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