Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.