I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet