Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.