we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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