I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
