I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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