i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
