Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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