chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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