you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
