At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize