this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize