craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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