why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
