just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
