You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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