Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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