What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
