trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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