my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your cock deserves a montage
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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