Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
