Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
