Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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