Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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