remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
