Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
