are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
