hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
