I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
