census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
